Dynasty Warriors: Gan Ning's Gym: The Complete Saga
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Gan Ning opens a gym within the Three Kingdoms when hilarity ensues! This is a re-release of our numerous 'Gan Ning's Gym' comedy stories we have written over the years. Each story has been re-edited and re-formatted. Whether you have seen the originals or missed them completely, these will be worth the nostalgic read again! Rated T for language, and crude humor.
1. Introduction

**Story** : Dynasty Warriors: Gan Ning's Gym: The Complete Saga **  
** **Author** : Master Jin Sonata **  
** **Written** : June 27th, 2016 **  
** **Genre** : Humor **  
** **Rating** : T (Language, Violence) **  
** **Disclaimer** : I do not own Koei or its hilarious antics of its heroes.

* * *

 **This is a collection of Gan Ning focused Dynasty Warrior humor fics we have published on this site from several years ago. We will be removing the original versions, so this definitive update is where you will now find them! In this collection you will find** :

 **Gan Ning's Gym (Fixed With Updated Dialogue)**  
Originally Published On July 7th, 2007

 **Gan Ning's Gym 2: Another Day (Fixed With All Chapters Merged)**  
Originally Published On August 16th, 2007

 **Gan Ning's Gym 3: Night Terrors (Fixed With All Chapters Merged, New Scene)**  
Originally Published On October 27th, 2008

* * *

 **Please proceed to the next chapter for the first story:** **Gan Ning's Gym** **!**


	2. Gan Ning's Gym

**Gan Ning's Gym**

* * *

"There, finished!"

Gan Ning was standing in front of his new Chinese Workout Center, located in between all three kingdoms.

"Alright, Gan Ning's Gym is now open for business!" he says, flipping over the 'Closed' sign so it now read 'Open'.

Gang Ning began to feel the ground shake as he did that. He turns his head and yells as a horde of officers and generals stampeded into the gym, running over Gan Ning in the process.

Gan Ning stands and coughs after being trampled by the rush of new customers.

"Well, it looks as though that business will be booming today," he says, wiping the foot-marks off of his clothes.

Inside his gym, many officers and soldiers from every kingdom were already making use of what the facility has to offer. Gan Ning decides to go around and see what everyone was up to.

* * *

 **Morning Block: Shu Side**

Gan Ning was behind the counter most of the morning getting everyone registered. After the crowds around the counter had died down, he finally got his chance to check up on the newcomers.

The first area he went to was the Weight Room. The first person he saw was Guan Yu near the giant dumbbells.

"Heya, Guan Yu my man! How's it going?" Gan Ning asks, patting him on the shoulder.

"Oh, nothing much. I just came to exercise my beard," Guan Yu responds.

"Ha! That's a good one, exercising you beard. Never heard that one before," Gan Ning laughs.

"No…seriously, I'm exercising my beard," Guan Yu points out.

Gan Ning looks down to notice that Guan Yu's beard is doing curls with a 20-pound dumbbell.

"Um…well that's something you don't see everyday…" Gan Ning says with a nervous laugh. "Say pal, I'll let you continue with your… 'hair conditioning' while I check upon the others," he continues, leaving the area.

He soon spotted Pang Tong doing squats with weights on his shoulders.

"Pang Tong! Of all people, I never expected you to be in a gym!" Gan Ning comments.

"Well, some of my superiors kept telling me a needed to work out more, but I insist that it's not necessary," Pang Tong says, setting down his bar.

"Heh, I don't blame them. Even strategists like you and Zhuge Liang need to get some…" Gan Ning starts to say.

Before he could finish, Pang Tong took off his cloak, revealing his extremely muscular body. Gan Ning stops and stares aghast at the sight of Pang Tong being ripped with six-pack abs and all.

"What are you two conversing about?" Zhuge Liang says as he walks over toward them. He too looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Um…I uh…gotta go…" Gan Ning says quickly, before running from the scene.

Eventually he ended up near Liu Bei, who was on a bicycle machine, pedaling at a casual pace.

"Lord Liu Bei, fancy seeing you here! Have to stay strong to lead an entire kingdom, eh?" Gan Ning comments.

"Yes. Being in top physically shape is a must, especially on the battlefield," Liu Bei comments.

"I agree. Let's just see here how many miles you have pedaled on this machine…" Gan Ning says as he looked at the machine's indicator.

It read 347 miles.

Gan Ning's eyes almost popped out when he saw this.

"Is…that a glitch…?" Gan Ning questions.

"Not at all. The indicator is indeed correct," Liu Bei responds.

"...You're joking, right?" Gan Ning says. Liu Bei shook his head as if to say 'nope'.

A blank look spread across Gan Ning's face.

I'm…going to go get a drink…" Gan Ning says, making his way out of the Weight Room.

* * *

 **Afternoon Block: Wei Side**

Gan Ning was in the Juice Bar having himself a cold drink. Behind the counter was one of his employees, Xu Zhu.

"This drink is pretty good," Gan Ning says, chugging down his drink. "What's it made of?"

"Uh…it's a special blend of exotic fruits…a hint of sugar…and spring water from the bowl in the back room," Xu Zhu comments.

"I see, no wonder it taste delicious…hey, wait a minute…what do you mean spring water from the back room? The only back room I know of is the bathroom…" Gan Ning recalled, before stopping to slowly look at Xu Zhu. "Please tell me this isn't toilet water…"

"Toilet water? Duh…I guess it does make it the bathroom that I got this from…" Xu Zhu says, scratching his head.

"WHAT?!" Gan Ning yells, spitting out his drink. "Oh hell no, that is GROSS man!"

Gan Ning immediately left the bar to go wash his mouth out with clean water.

 **Later…**

After he had gargled about 40,000 times, Gan Ning went toward the Indoor Swimming Pool area. There, he saw Cao Cao and Zhang Liao near the shallow end of the water.

"No, no, NO! I am not getting in the water!" Cao Cao protests, shaking at the knees as Zhang Liao pressures him to get in.

"Oh come on! It's just the shallow end! The water won't even go past your knees," Zhang Liao tries to offer. "See? I'll get in first!" he continues, stepping into the water to demonstrate how safe it was.

"Well…I guess it looks okay…" Cao Cao gulps, as he slowly moves to get in himself.

Out of nowhere, Gan Ning appeared right behind him.

"Cao Cao! How's it going?" Gan Ning says, slapping Cao Cao playfully on the shoulder.

"EEEEEYAAAAAHHHH!" Cao Cao screams in surprise, causing him to long jump all the way to the deep-end. When he fell in, he frantically tried to stay afloat. "HELP! SOMEBODY! I CAN'T SWIM!"

"Ah crap, and I haven't hired a bodyguard yet either. Look's like I got to save him my self," Gan Ning says, quickly removing his clothes until he was in his shorts before jumping in.

It took a bit to rescue Cao Cao, since he wouldn't calm down when Gan Ning tried to get him to safety. When they were both out of the water, Cao Cao had passed out from swallowing too much water.

"Oh great, now I gotta perform CPR on him?" Gan Ning shudders.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," says a tall hulking man from behind him. "If anyone can provide decent CPR service, its me," the man says with a grin.

It was Lu Bu.

"Uh…okay!" Gan Ning says with relief. "You take care of that while I go take me a quick shower."

With that says, Gan Ning hurries into the locker room and stepped into the shower area.

"Man, what's with all of this steam? It's so thick I can't see anything!" Gan Ning complains as he wandered through the piping hot showers.

 **BUMP!**

Gan Ning stopped abruptly for he ran into somebody occupying the shower as well.

The man turned out to be Pang De.

"Sorry about that," Gan Ning says to Pang De.

"Not a problem. I see you are here to shower with the rest of us 'manly men'," Pang De says.

"Rest of you?" Gan Ning questions.

The steam cleared a bit to reveal Dian Wei, Xiahou Dun, and Zhang He showering as well.

"…Why is Zhang He with you guys?" Gan Ning questions.

"For your information, I am giving these men tips on how to keep their bodies beautiful and feeling good," Zhang He responds as he messages Pang De's shoulders.

"And Zhang He's body-wash works wonders on my dry skin!" Dian Wei comments.

"Too bad it won't penetrate Pang De's hairy chest," Xiahou Dun comments, smirking.

"The other men cringe in fear of Pang De's chest hair," Pang De says to Gan Ning.

"I'm outta here," Gan Ning says quickly as he ran out of the showers as fast as he could, almost slipping on the wet floor...

 **SLAM!**

...and colliding into the lockers.

* * *

 **Evening Block: Wu Side**

It was nearing the evening, and Gan Ning spent most of his time exercising himself. After he was finished, he went to the Multi-Purpose facility to see what was going on there.

At the Boxing Ring, Gan Ning noticed the Qiao sisters' battling each other in a quick match. Sun Ce, Lu Xun, and Ling Tong was there cheering on the girls.

"Hey, ladies! Wanna challenge a real boxing pro?" Gan Ning offers to the girls, jumping into the ring.

Both of the Qiao sisters look at each other and nod.

"Sure! We'll box with you," Xiao Qiao says with an innocent smile.

"Can you take on both of us together?" Da Qiao asks.

"Ha! I'll have you know that I used to be China's Boxing Champion before I became a pirate!" Gan Ning boasts, slipping on his gloves. "Someone ring the bell so we can get this match started!"

"You got it," Lu Xun responds.

 **DING!**

 **Minutes Later…**

"Ugh…what happened?" Gan Ning says in a daze.

Gan Ning was lying on the floor on the boxing ring with a huge black eye. He slowly sat up and shook his head.

"You got knocked out, that's what!" Sun Ce says, doubled over, laughing his ass off.

"Huh?! But I didn't see it coming!" Gan Ning protests.

"That's for sure!" Ling Tong says.

Gan Ning got up and rubs his eye.

"Aw man, how embarrassing, gotta go put some ice on this," he says, making his way toward the Juice Bar once more.

Back at the Juice Bar, Gan Ning was sitting at the counter with an ice pack over his eye. The crowd in the gym began to die down as night approaches.

It was almost time to close for the evening.

"Man, what a day…and to think I have to go through this everyday…" Gan Ning says, staring at the ceiling. "Let's just hope its not as crazy as this day was…"

* * *

 **Later That Night...**

It was closing time at Gan Ning's Gym. After everyone had left, Gan Ning locks the main doors of the building and went to go gather his things before leaving himself for the evening. Before he could exit the building, he heard a noise from within. Gan Ning stops and listens around to see if he could hear exactly what was going on.

The noise stops.

"Huh? That' weird…could have sworn I heard something just a moment ago…" Gan Ning says.

Thinking it was just his imagination, Gan Ning shrugs and once again attempts to leave his facility.

He heard another noise…this time; the sound of someone grunting in frustration… like they were having difficulty trying to take a dump.

"What the…? Who could still be in there?" Gan Ning says, raising an eyebrow as he went to investigate.

Upon entering the room where all of the dumbbells and weights were, Gan Ning spotted Huang Zhong trying to bench press alone. Gan Ning walks up toward him and takes the bar away from Huang Zhong and sets it aside.

"Uh…sir, what are you doing? We closed a half-hour ago," Gan Ning says, tapping his foot.

"Nonsense! There's still strength in me yet! I can keep exercising all night!" Huang Zhong says.

"Not on my watch you won't be. Now let's go, old man!" Gan Ning says, pointing Huang Zhong toward the exit.

"You young whipper-snapper! What kind of fitness center doesn't stay open late at night? Why in my day, we used to train for days on end without rest!" Huang Zhong protested.

"Look, old man, I've got to get home and make dinner for my other pirate buddies! Can't this conversation wait another day?" Gan Ning says, sighing.

"Oh, whatever, you wimp," Huang Zhong says, standing up and making his way out of the building. "But just remember, child, you'd get a lot more business if your fitness center stays open late!"

Gan Ning watches as Huang Zhong left the building after saying those words.

"Hmm…he does have a point…I would make more money if I stayed open later…" Gan Ning thinks to himself before leaving.

* * *

 **Please review and keep watch for the next story: Gan Ning's Gym 2: Another Day** **, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	3. Gan Ning's Gym: Another Day

**Gan Ning's Gym 2: Another Day**

* * *

 **Morning Block**

Gan Ning yawns as he walks down the road toward his gym.

"Man, thanks to old man Huang Zhong and his new overnight program, I only get three hours of sleep every night!" he grumbles as he stops at the front entrance to his gym.

As Gan Ning searches for his keys, he heard a familiar sound from behind him. He spun around and stared wide-eyed as dozens upon dozens of officers and soldiers came stampeding toward the entrance.

"HOLD ON THERE!" Gan Ning yells to the flurry of customers. The customers all stopped just inches from colliding with Gan Ning. "Let me get the door open first!"

Finally finding the right key, the pirate unlocks the doors to his gym and opens them.

"There, now you can come-WHOAAA!" Gan Ning says, before his is trampled once again by the crowd.

"Note to self…buy body armor when opening my fitness center…" Gan Ning says dizzily, before flopping back down onto the ground in a daze.

* * *

After taking some time to heal from being ran over at the entrance, Gan Ning follows his new morning routine of getting an ice-cold energy drink. Sitting at the counter in the Juice Bar, he calls upon the bartender.

Lu Bu was now working here since Gan Ning fired Xu Zhu.

"Yeah? Whaddaya want?" Lu Bu says as he steps into view.

"I'll take the usual," Gan Ning says.

"Just a moment…" Lu Bu says, going to the back room to get his drink. Minutes later, Lu Bu returns with the beverage. "Here."

Gan Ning takes the cup and downs it in seconds.

"Ah…now that's good stuff!" the pirate sighs with satisfaction.

"That'll be 450 gold pieces," Lu Bu says.

"450?! You keep raising the prices every week! What's the deal?" Gan Ning says, raising an eyebrow.

"Because its not easy drawing out mineral water for your drinks!" Lu Bu says.

"Just what is it made of exactly?" Gan Ning questions.

Lu Bu turns around and opens the sliding door behind him, revealing Pang De sweating furiously as he ran on a treadmill. Pang De turns and looks at Gan Ning.

"The people here get nutritious drinks from Pang De's sweat!" Pang De says, giving the pirate a thumbs-up as he ran.

Gan Ning's eyes flew open and had a 'WTF' look on his face. He then proceeds to run haphazardly out of the Juice Bar to go throw-up in the toilet.

* * *

After that disgusting ordeal, Gan heads toward the Weight Room. There, he saw Zhuge Liang trying to help his rival Sima Yi with his workout.

"Hey, Zhuge Liang! I see you're helping your buddy use the bench press machine!" Gan Ning says, walking over to the two.

"For your information, I was about to do thirty lifts on this thing when Zhuge Liang got in my way!" Sima Yi responds snobbishly.

"Oh really? Then tell me, Sima Yi, why where your clothes completely drenched in sweat when you tried to lift up the one-pound bar earlier?" Zhuge Liang questions.

"Oh just shut-up and lets just get started!" Sima Yi grumbles as he took the bar that Zhuge Liang had held for him…

 **CRASH!**

…ultimately landing on top of Sima Yi, causing him and the bar to bounce off of the machine and land on the floor.

"I'm done with this ridiculous machine. My intellect is too great to be dealing with idiotic exercise equipment. I'll just be your spotter," Sima Yi growls angrily to Zhuge Liang.

"Thanks for the offer, but unlike you, I don't require someone to help me with my lifting," Zhuge Liang says with a wry smile.

 **RIIIIP!**

Zhuge Liang tears off his strategist robe, revealing his muscular body that would rival that of a veteran weightlifter. Sima Yi nearly faints upon seeing this.

Gan Ning shudders from the sight. _"Did I really need to see a roided-out Zhuge Liang again?"_ Gan Ning says to himself before turning away from the two. "Well, you two don't overdo it, ya hear?" Gan Ning adds as he excuses himself from the area.

* * *

Heading deeper into the room, he spots Zhang Jiao doing something weird with a barbell.

"Hey Zhang Jiao, whatcha doing with my barbell?" Gan Ning asks the Yellow Turban zealot.

"I am calling upon the power of Heaven to manipulate this unholy piece of iron!" Zhang Jiao says to Gan Ning, still levitating the barbell as he talked.

"Well heaven ain't gonna help ya build any muscles at this rate. You gotta lift them with your own arms, not magic!" Gan Ning explains.

"But…that sounds like work!" Zhang Jiao says.

"Well duh! Here, let's start by putting down that barbell," Gan Ning says as he attempted to reach for the barbell, but Zhang Jiao moves away.

"Fool! You mustn't interfere with my divine magic powers!" Zhang Jiao protests.

"Like I care!" Gan Ning says, rushing up to Zhang Jiao and began tickling him.

"WAHAHA...NO, STOP WITH THE TICKLING! WAHAHA! YOU'RE GONNA…WAHAHA…MAKE ME…"

 **CRUUUUNCH!**

Due to the ticking, Zhang Jiao loses control of the barbell, ultimately falling and landing on his foot.

"GAAAAAHHHH!" Zhang Jiao yells, hopping around the room holding his injured foot, eventually tripping and falling over a rack of weights in the end.

Gan Ning looks around quickly and leaves the area before someone notices.

* * *

Along the way toward his office to do some membership paperwork, Gan Ning walks past a corridor, where he notices Dong Zhuo doing something suspicious.

"What the…what's he doing?" Gan Ning says, stopping to go investigate.

As Gan Ning got closer, Dong Zhuo fails to notice the pirate coming up toward him. Dong Zhuo was too busy peeking inside a door.

"Heheh, that's right…turn around and show me some buns!" Dong Zhuo drools as he kept his eyes fixated at what was going on inside.

That's when Gan Ning notices that it was the Women's Locker Room Dong Zhuo was peeping into.

"H-hey you pervert! Whaddaya think you're doing looking into the Lady's Locker Room, huh? Get outta here!" Gan Ning says, shoving the overweight tyrant out of the way.

 **SLAM!**

At the exact same time, Diao Chan slammed the doors open.

"Aha! So you were the one watching us get dressed! I knew I heard something out here!" Diao Chan accuses Gan Ning.

"Hey lady, you got it all wrong! It wasn't me, it was him!" Gan Ning says as he turned and pointed to Dong Zhuo, only to realize that Dong Zhuo had ran his fat-ass out of the area.

"Pervert!" Diao Chan yells, slapping Gan Ning upside the head, followed with a kick to the face with her high-heels.

"That's gotta hurt!" Zhang Fei says as he walks by the now dazed Gan Ning.

* * *

 **Afternoon Block**

After a trip to the infirmary from the kicks he got from Diao Chan, Gan Ning was ready to head out and continue his rounds of checking up on everyone around his gym.

Gan Ning decides to go to Fitness and Conditioning sector of his gym.

Inside one of the rooms he spots Pang Tong and Zuo Ci in the middle of some meditation training. Both men sat still on the ground and concentrated their energies. Soon after, both men began floating upward, levitating just inches off the ground.

"Hey now, that's pretty cool!" Gan Ning says, entering the room. "Say, think you guys can teach me to do that?"

Both men look up at Gan Ning, still levitating in the air.

"Hmm…I don't know…it takes a lot of energy and concentration to perform this feat," Pang Tong says doubtingly, scratching his chin.

"Now now, Pang Tong, we should let him try at least once," Zuo Ci says.

"Awesome! Now, what do I do?" Gan Ning says, walking over and sitting down next to the two, legs crossed.

"First, free your mind and rest will follow," Zuo Ci says.

"Uh…what?" Gan Ning says, scratching his head.

"What he means is to clear your mind of all thoughts and focus your energies around you to propel yourself off of the ground," Pang Tong explains.

"Um…okay!" Gan Ning says, closing his eyes.

The pirate struggled for a while to do what the two instructed him to do.

"It ain't…working!" Gan Ning says in a strained voice.

"Do not give up. You are almost there…" Zuo Ci says.

Gan Ning was beginning to sweat from all the effort he was putting into this exercise, but it paid off as he shakily began to float off of the ground.

"See? You're doing it!" Pang Tong says.

Gan Ning opens his eyes and peeks below him.

"Well yeah, but I want to go a lot higher than this!" Gan Ning says, returning to his concentration.

Gan Ning was now turning beet-red as he started exerting himself furiously to gather up all of his energies.

"Easy now, you don't want to overdo it, or you might…" Zuo Ci warns.

 **CRASH!**

Gan Ning had concentrated too much energy, causing him to shoot up straight toward the ceiling and crash into it before falling back down onto the floor with a thud.

"…overdo it…" Zuo Ci states, as he and Pang Tong stare at the now unconscious Gan Ning.

* * *

Gan Ning woke up two hours later and made his way out of the meditation room.

"Ow…why does my head hurt?" the pirate asks himself as he made his way down the hall toward another room.

Along the way he stops at an open door and peeks inside, where an aerobics class led by Meng Huo was taking place. Dance music played as the Nanman king moved to the music.

"Move your body! I wanna see you people sweat that flub off of your bodies!" Meng Huo says to his class.

What caught Gan Ning's immediate attention was not the exercisers in particular, but Meng Huo himself, who was wearing a speedo several sizes too small, which showed his hairy, jiggling fat ass as he moved to the beat.

Gan Ning almost puked as he saw this horrendous sight and ran off toward the nearest bathroom once again.

After spending some more time in the bathroom Gan Ning left and heads for the end of the hall, where Zhu Rong and Wei Yan taught Break Dancing. The pirate entered the room to see what was going on.

"Alright class, me and Wei Yan are gonna show ya how to dance!" Zhu Rong says as she and Wei Yan got into position.

Behind them were Sun Ce and Sun Quan, who then pops a CD into a boom box and began to play hip-hop music as they began rapping.

 _"Hey! Listen ya'll! The Sun Brothers in da house!_

 _Yo yo! You wanna learn how to dance like top girl? Here's how!_

 _It's Zhu Rong and Wei Yan, and the house!_

 _You gotta move to the rhythm yeah move to the beat!_

 _You gotta get on the floor and move yo feet!_

 _Now spin around like top that's the way to go!_

 _This is break dancing, homies, no need to go slow!"_

The singing and dancing continues as Zhu Rong and Wei Yan both perform some pretty amazing stunts as the music went on.

"Now this is my kind of class!" Gan Ning says as he tapped his foot and watched the performance.

A little further into the routine, Wei Yan finishes his dance by spinning on his back really fast. Unknown to him was that as he spun, he was moving rather quickly toward where Gan Ning stood.

"Whoa whoa! Watch where you're dancing! You're gonna hit me if you don't…" Gan Ning says, slowly backing away from the oncoming Wei Yan.

 **TRIP!**

Wei Yan collides into Gan Ning and trips him over before the pirate could turn and get away. The music stops and everyone stares at the interrupted mess Gan Ning has made.

"Damn…what a painful day this is…" Gan Ning says as he lay there with Wei Yan sitting on top of him.

* * *

 **Evening Block**

It was nearing the evening hours, and the gym-goers' activities showed no sign of winding down. Gan Ning continued his rounds of observing the other Dynasty Warriors to see how they were faring.

Some time later he ended up near the Olympic-sized swimming pool. Through the window he could see Cao Cao and Zhang Liao in the pool having the time of their lives. Gang Ning then heads toward the locker room, changes clothes, and proceeded to jump into the pool as well.

"Hey guys! Mind if I join in?" Gan Ning says to the two.

"Not at all! Lord Cao Cao and I were about to have a race," Zhang Liao responds.

"Well well, Cao Cao, seems you're not afraid of the water anymore I see," Gan Ning says with a grin, playfully splashing some water at Cao Cao.

"Indeed. This swimming business is not as bad as it seems. Now, let's race," Cao Cao responds.

All three men swam to one end of the pool and were ready to start the competition.

"Ready…set…" Zhang Liao prepares to announce, until he was interrupted by the loud boasting of Dong Zhuo, who was standing on the diving board above them.

"Move out of the way you pesky flies! I claim this pool now! Now get ready for a cannonball!" Dong Zhuo announced as he reared his fatass and got a running start to jump off the diving board.

"Uh oh…" all three men says simultaneously as they witnessed Dong Zhuo jump into the water and create a giant tidal wave.

"WOOOOAAAAAAHHHH!" Gan Ning, Cao Cao, and Zhang Liao yell in unison as the water carries all three of them across the pool, ultimately tossing them out of the water and through a window that lead into the lobby.

 **CRASH!**

All three men lay on the floor of the lobby in a daze after that mishap.

* * *

Over an hour had passed since the pool disaster, and Gan Ning, against his own will at this point, decides to see what else was going on throughout his fitness complex.

He ends up in the Tennis Court Sector. There, he sees the Qiao sisters practicing a game of tennis with their husbands Sun Ce and Zhou Yu.

"Hey guys, playing a little tennis I see," Gan Ning says as he approaches them.

"Oh yeah, we're working up quite a sweat tonight," Sun Ce responds, wiping his brow.

"Say, Mr. Pirate guy, we need a referee for our next match. Wanna be it?" Xiao Qiao asks.

"Alright! Let the game begin!" Gan Ning says as he climbs up onto the elevated judges seat.

They game began immediately afterwards.

Zhou Yu served the first hit. It flies over the net toward Da Qiao, in which she misses as she tried to swing at it.

"15 Love!" Gan Ning announced through a megaphone he had picked up.

"What?! It was a foul, it hit the white line!" Da Qiao complains.

Sun Ce served next. He hit the ball hard, sending it toward Xiao Qiao this time. Xiao Qiao hits it back over the net toward Zhou Yu, with Zhou Yu missing it completely.

"30 Love! Negative penalty to the Qiao sisters!" Gan Ning announces.

"What the hell?! Who taught you to score a tennis match?" Da Qiao insists, both sisters a bit miffed at his call.

"Read it in Dynasty Illustrated Sports Magazine," Gan Ning responds with a shrug.

This time Da Qiao served next. She hits the ball over the net, with Sun Ce hitting it back. Xiao Qiao catches it and whacks it back toward the men. Zhou Yu catches it in time and sends it back over to the girls once again. Xiao Qiao, seeing the ball ready to bounce out of her reach, dives toward it and slams it hard, this time sending the ball zooming straight toward Gan Ning at 100 MPH.

Gan Ning had no time to react as the ball ricocheted off of his head, knocking him off the judge's seat and crashing onto the ground below.

"Whoops…" Xiao Qiao says with a nervous laugh.

* * *

Gan Ning recovered quickly from the tennis ball incident and heads toward the basketball court.

"Huh…there's no one here!" Gan Ning says, as he saw no one playing basketball at the moment.

No sooner as Gan Ning turns around to leave, a booming voice calls out his name from behind.

"Challenge me!" yells out Lu Bu from out of nowhere.

Gan Ning slowly turns around to see Lu Bu suddenly on the court, wearing a yellow jersey and shorts, dribbling a basketball with his right hand.

"Lu Bu?! Aren't you supposed to be manning the Juice Bar?" Gan Ning inquires.

"I'm on break. Now, can you provide me with a decent challenge?!" Lu Bu demands.

"Okay okay, I'll play you one on one!" Gan Ning says, ripping of his clothes to reveal his own basketball jersey underneath.

The game started immediately as Lu Bu began charging down the court like a freight train dribbling the ball toward Gann Ning's hoop. At the speed and direction Lu Bu was heading, he would soon collide into Gan Ning, who had no chance to move away in time.

"Whoa whoa whoa WHOA!" Gan Ning yells as he tried to get Lu Bu to stop charging at him.

Too late.

All that remained after the collision was Gan Ning's outline through the nearby wall.

* * *

It was now really late into the night. Gan Ning was ready to call it a day and go home since Huang Zhong took over the night-hours of the gym.

He stops by the indoor Track and Field Arena and sees Huang Zhong doing some stretches.

"Hey, old man, I'm heading home," Gang Ning says as he approached him.

"Going so soon, youngin'? It's still early! What, you tired already?" Huang Zhong asks.

"It's been a long day…" Gan Ning tries to explain.

"Nonsense! Youth these days don't know how to stay in shape. Come on and let's have a quick race before you go!" Huang Zhong offers.

"A race eh? Now that's something I know I can out do anyone in!" Gan Ning says with confidence.

Both men step onto the track and line themselves up behind a white line.

"On the count of three, we run one lap around the track!" Huang Zhong states.

"No problem, this will be over sooner before you know it!" Gang Ning responds.

"Okay then…one…two…three!"

 **ZIIIIP!**

"I win!" Huang Zhong announces.

Before Gan Ning could even take off, the dumbfounded pirate looks up at Huang Zhong in question.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Gan Ning yells as he looks around the track and sees a trail of dust made by Huang Zhong when he circled the track in under 1.5 seconds.

"Told ya you were out of shape," Huang Zhong says with a cheeky grin.

Gan Ning slumps onto the ground with disbelief.

"Unbelievable…what a day…" he moans, before falling out completely with shock and disbelief.

* * *

 **Please review and keep watch for the final story: Gan Ning's Gym 3: Night Terrors** **, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	4. Gan Ning's Gym 3: Night Terrors

**Gan Ning's Gym 3: Night Terrors**

* * *

 **Night Shift**

It was nightfall within the Three Kingdoms.

Gan Ning, owner of his illustrious fitness facility, was preparing to leave for the evening and head on home, when one of his employees approaches him.

It was Huang Zhong.

" **Leaving so soon, youngster?"** Huang Zhong asks.

 **"Yeah, gotta go back home and make dinner for my pirate crew,"** Gan Ning responds. **"Are you sure you'll be okay running my gym all on your own, old man?"** he questions the old Shu officer.

" **Relax youngin', this old man will keep his watchful eye over your facility,"** Huang Zhong responds confidently.

" **Um, old man? I'm over here…"** Gan Ning says, turning Huang Zhong around to him, who was facing the wrong direction a moment ago.

" **Heh, whoops, guess I should put on my glasses then,"** Huang Zhong responds with a chuckle, pulling out his eyeglasses that were thick as binoculars.

" **Riiiight…"** Gan Ning says, eyebrow risen in doubt. " **All right, well I'm outta here. Give me a call if something goes wrong, okay old man?"** the pirate says as he exits through the front doors.

" **Heh, like this old man will need to call for any assistance. Everything will be just fine,"** Huang Zhong says as he proceeds to go monitor the vast facility.

After making his first rounds through the facility, Huang Zhong stops by the gym's Juice Bar to order a drink. Upon his arrival, he sees no one behind the counter

" **Hey bartender! I wish to place an order!"** Huang Zhong calls out to whomever was working there.

Out from behind the counter came the night-shift bartender: Sima Yi, who rose up and turns to the old man.

" **A drink is it? How about an ice-cold Sima-Shake? It's guaranteed to refresh you and make you smart like me! Muahaha!"** Sima says in his usual dweebish persona.

" **Hmm, sounds like that new drink the kids must be trying out these days. Sure, I'll be hip and take one of those,"** Huang Zhong responds.

" **Muahaha! Coming right up!"** Sima Yi says as he heads into the back kitchen to prepare his drink.

Huang Zhong meanwhile turns around in his bar stool to gaze upon the other fitness members through the glass walls across from the room.

" _ **You're drink sir,"**_ came a strange garbled voice back at the counter behind Huang Zhong.

" **Oh thank you youngst-g-g-g-g-GHOOOOOST!"** Huang Zhong yells after turning around to see a small white ghost with beady black eyes staring back at him holding a glass full of red blood.

Without another word Huang Zhong zips out of his seat and hightails it out of the Juice Bar.

Moments after the old man had fled the scene, Sima Yi returns to the front counter with Huang Zhong's Sima-Shake, only to see that his customer was gone.

The ghost Huang Zhong saw earlier was nowhere to be found.

" **Where in blazes did that old coot run off too? Oh well, more shake for me,"** Sima Yi says as he begins sipping on his freshly prepared shake.

* * *

 **The Haunted Showers**

After Huang Zhong had fled from seeing a ghost at the Juice Bar, he finds the nearest phone and dials the number to Gan Ning's home to report the incident.

 ** _"Hello? Gan Ning here. What's up?"_**

 **"Gan Ning! I saw the most horrible thing a few minutes ago!"**

" _ **Oh hey old man. Don't tell me you saw Meng Huo doing aerobics in his speedo again, did you?"**_

" **No, not that! I saw a ghost!"**

"… _ **A ghost?"**_

" **Yes! It gave me a glass of blood at the Juice Bar!"**

"… _ **Old man, did you forget to take your medication or something? There is no such thing as ghosts!"**_

" **But…but!"**

" _ **Good night old man."**_

 ** _Click_**

Gan Ning hung up. Huang Zhong sets the phone down and takes a deep breath.

" **Maybe I was seeing things…I need me a cold shower…"** the old Shu officer says as he proceeded toward the shower area.

After getting undressed, Huang Zhong steps out of the locker room and into the showers, standing under the refreshing water as he sighs a breath of relief.

" **H-Hey! What are you doing here you dirty old man?!"** says a voice next to Huang Zhong.

Huang Zhong immediately turns his head to see Xiao Qiao next him, who was showering as well. The steam from her shower covered the body below the neck so he couldn't see anything of her he wasn't supposed to.

" **Whoops! Guess I stepped into the wrong locker room…"** Huang Zhong says with an embarrassed chuckle.

" **Yeah right!"** Xiao Qiao says, rolling her eyes. **"Say, dirty old man, what made you decide to look after this gym through the night hours?"** she asks.

" **Well, since nobody else volunteered, I stepped up to be the night time manager,"** Huang Zhong replies.

" **It's pretty cool that Gan Ning made this place be open twenty-four hours. Now me and my sister Da Qiao can come and play tennis and volley ball after work in the evenings!"** Xiao Qiao says with a smile. **"Say, can you hand me the soap behind you?"** she asks Huang Zhong.

 **"Oh, uh, sure thing youngin',"** Huang Zhong says as he turns and grabs the soap that sat on a rack behind him.

As soon as he turns around, Huang Zhong screams as a dried, decomposing skeleton of Xiao Qiao showered in blood stood before him.

" **AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!"** Huang Zhong yells as he turned to run in terror…

 **WHAP!**

…only to slip on the water on the floor and fall face-first onto the ground.

Xiao Qiao, who had stepped out of the showers for a brief moment, walks back in to see Huang Zhong on the floor unconscious.

" **Oh no! Are you okay, dirty old man?"** Xiao Qiao says with a worried look as she leans over to help the old Shu officer.

* * *

 **Freaky Bike Incident**

Huang Zhong was once again back at the nearest phone, phoning Gan Ning's home after that incident in the showers.

" _ **Yeah…?"**_

" **Gan Ning! This is Huang Zhong again!"**

" _ **What is it now? I'm trying to get some sleep!"**_

" **I saw that ghost again! It was in the shower with me and Xiao Qiao!"**

"… _ **Did you have too much to drink or something? And what the hell were you doing showering with the girls without me?!"**_

" **But but, it's true! I'm not crazy!"**

" _ **Good night, old man."**_

 _ **Click**_

Huang Zhong sets down the phone and groans.

" **This is just too much! I got to get my mind off of this…I know…I'll go work out for a while…yeah, that'll make me feel better,"** Huang Zhong says, heading toward the exercise room.

A while later, Huang Zhong enters the fitness room wearing shorts and a tank top and sneakers. Once inside, he spots Xiahou Yuan, his rival, on an exercise bike.

" **Mind if I join you?"** Huang Zhong says, approaching Yuan and getting on a bike next to him.

" **Sure no problem old timer,"** Yuan says. **"So, this is some snazzy place your boss has,"** Yuan adds.

" **Oh yes! That Gan Ning youngin' knows how to do business it seems. I just wish he would have hired more personnel during the night hours…strange things have been happening…"** Huang Zhong explains.

 ** _"Is that so?"_** said a hauntingly creepy voice next to him.

Huang Zhong turns his head…

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**

…and yells in terror as Xiahou Yuan was now a rotting corps with ooze spewing out of him.

This bizarre event caused Huang Zhong to pedal so fast on his bike that it came off of its stands, causing him to zoom forward across the fitness room and crash into the opposite wall, knocking him out cold.

Xiahou Yuan, who seemingly was back to normal, quickly rushes over to the fallen Shu officer.

" **What was that all about?"** Xiahou Yuan asks himself, tending to the old man.

* * *

 **The Freaks Come Out At Night**

A little more than an hour later, Xiahou Yuan had dragged Huang Zhong into the lobby and had laid the dazed Shu officer down on the couch, while Yuan grabbed the phone to call Gan Ning.

 _"… **What? What is it now for Wu's sake?"**_

" **Gan Ning? This is Xiahou Yuan. I think you should come down here."**

" _ **Oh don't tell me you're seeing ghosts there too?"**_

" **Well no, not me personally, but I think you should come take a look anyways just in case."**

" _ **Urrgh…fine…fine I'll be there soon."**_

 _ **Click!**_

Later when the exhausted Gan Ning arrives at the gym, he immediately spots Yuan and Huang Zhong in the lobby.

" **Okay, this better be worth the time coming out here you two. No, what is the problem?"** Gan Ning demands.

Huang Zhong, who had woken up earlier, stood and approached his boss.

" **It's like I've been trying to tell you: ghosts have been roaming your gym all night! They're everywhere I turn!"** Huang Zhong pleads.

Gan Ning just glares back at Huang Zhong, not believing his story.

Much to Huang Zhong's dismay, that same ghost that's been haunting him was suddenly right behind Gan Ning.

" **NOOO! IT'S BACK!"** Huang Zhong shouts, pointing behind Gan Ning.

" **Oh give me break,"** Gan Ning says, rolling his eyes as he turns around. **"There is no such…thing…as…GHOSTS?!"** Gan Ning gulps.

He and Yuan could now see the ghost Huang Zhong has been raving about all night.

" **RAWR!"** the ghost screams, turning itself into the most hideous, heart-stopping monstrous-looking abomination of a creature ever.

" **AAAEEEEIIIIII!"** all three men scream like little girls as they immediately turn and scramble out of the area.

* * *

 **Who You Gonna Call?**

The entire gym was silent.

No one could be seen or heard for over an hour after the ghost scared off the three men.

However…the silence would soon come to an end.

From within a storage closet, voices could be heard.

 **Xiahou Yuan** : "So…you really think this will work, old man?"

 **Gan Ning** : "Yeah, I mean, this does seem kinda stupid."

 **Huang Zhong** : "Hey, do you want to get rid of this ghost or not? You should thank Sima Yi for this Ghost-busting equipment.

 **Sima Yi** : "Muahaha! Yes, I know one day my spiritual containment devices would come of use! Let's see that rival of mine top this genius!"

 **Xiao Qiao** : "Hey, why am I involved in this?"

 **Huang Zhong** : "Because we couldn't find another person small enough to fit the last outfit on. Okay then, is everyone ready?"

 **Gan Ning** : "Yeah, let's teach this ghost not to run wild in my gym!"

 **Huang Zhong** : "Alright! Let's do it, youngins'!"

 **BAM!**

 **(Cue the Ghostbusters' theme song)**

All five persons burst out of the storage room, wearing classic Ghostbusters costumes, complete with proton guns and backpacks. All of them turn toward the hallway, where they immediately see that annoying ghost floating down the hallway.

" **Get him!"** Huang Zhong commands, as he and his allies start charging down the hall.

The ghost turns around immediately and laughs. It then leans over on the ground and grabs a chunk of the carpet, then proceeds to ripple it up all the way down the hallway, causing the others to fly into the air and crash on top of one another.

" **Grrrr…We'll show you! Everyone, point your guns at the ghost and fire!"** Sima Yi commands as he stumbles onto his feet.

The others quickly ready their guns and began firing at the ghost, only for them to miss completely as the ghost effortlessly dodges every attacked fired upon it.

" **What gives? It's too fast!"** Xiao Qiao says.

" **Then there's only one thing to do…"** Sima Yi says to them. **"We must cross the beams making the blast large enough where it won't be able to evade it."**

" **But isn't that dangerous?"** Xiahou Yuan asks.

" **Hey, I'd do anything to get rid of this damn spirit and prevent the old man from going cuckoo on me again,"** Gan Ning responds.

" **Alright, everyone fire now!"** Sima Yi commands.

All five of them concentrate their blasts into one giant beam, which as Sima Yi had predicated, was able to finally hit the ghost.

" **Now, roll out the containment unit!"** Sima Yi commands.

Huang Zhong pulls out a box-like machine, and slides it down the hall underneath the ghost. Then, pressing a button, the box opens, sucking the ghost into the unit, and closing upon its capture.

That ghost's tirade of terror was finally put to an end.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

After the whole ordeal, everyone disperses, and Gan Ning takes the time to apologize to Huang Zhong.

" **Yeah…um…sorry for not believing you, old man…"** Gan Ning says, scratching his head.

" **Don't worry about it, kiddo. Everything is okay now that ghost is put in its rightful place,"** Huang Zhong says.

" **I sure hope so. Say, how about I treat you to a drink?"** Gan Ning offers.

" **Why I'd love to!"** Huang Zhong replies.

Both men walk to the Juice Bar and take a seat at the counter.

" **Bartender, two 'house specials' please,"** Gan Ning calls out to whoever was working the counter at this time.

Suddenly, Count Dracula rises from behind the counter, holding a glass of blood in each of his hands.

" **Blah! You vant some blood? Muahaha!"** Dracula cackles.

The last thing anyone remembers seeing of either Gan Ning or Huang Zhong were both of them fleeing from the gym in a flurry of panic yelling like schoolgirls.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading, and please review! Check out our 50+ story library for more laughs!**


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